Talking to your partner about money as a woman
As a female entrepreneur or a woman who wants to get better with money, it can be difficult navigating conversations about money – or having the conversation at all – particularly when it comes to talking to your partner. So much so that 70% of arguments in relationships centre around money.It is so important to have this tricky conversation because as we know, communication is key to sorting out any relationship issue, especially in regard to money. Talking to your partner about money will take more than a few quick chats but by doing this you will benefit from peace of mind and you are also likely to grow closer as a result.
Common issues with money you could be having with your partner
You are not alone in finding it difficult to talk about money with your partner as a woman; there are a few common issues that cause relationships problems centred around finances. Here are a few examples:
- Different attitudes towards money
- This issue often comes up at the beginning of the relationship; are you conscious of saving money whilst your partner spends lavishly ?
- Guilt around Salary Differences
- Some couples go through a period of adjustment wherein through moving in together or maybe even getting married, the differences in their salaries may be seen as a point of contention. We will deep dive into this issue a bit later on.
- Joint accounts
- To share or not to share? This issue usually happens later in relationships but it is just as significant to talk about it as early on as you can.
There is also the overwhelming statistic that 1 in 3 women in relationships is financially dependent on their partners – so your issue could simply be trying to break out of that statistic, let us help you here!
Dealing with unequal salaries – why it might be a problem
Should it matter what you and your partner earn? The answer is yes and no, the salary difference should not make you feel any less or any more for your partner but it is imperative that you have these conversations as soon as possible. As a woman, financial freedom and independence are very important, and as time goes on, we are saying no to men being the default providers.
When there is a financial disparity in relationships, it can manifest itself into different issues that you may not have initially expected. For example, perhaps one person earns more and therefore feels they should have more of a say about what is done with shared funds; sometimes, it can be used as a method of control, putting the other person into a vulnerable situation. This is absolutely not okay and if this is the case, find more advice on the subject here.
Perhaps the financial disparity comes unexpectedly in the form of a large inheritance or sudden promotion. Maybe both of you may have been working at the start of your relationship, but family planning and illness may have changed the structure and finances that you are used to. No matter the context, it is better to talk about these money issues with your partner as openly as possible.
Talking to your partner to find solutions to dealing with unequal salaries
The first thing to do is think about how you and your partner can make this conversation about money issues a level playing field. It all starts with both parties coming into a shared space as open to each other’s views as you can be. Try to take the romance out of the equation for now, instead of a couple having an argument you are a team figuring out a strategy, possibly treating the conversation like a business meeting so that you both remain focused on your financial goals. The conversation should be about letting both parties have creative control over their finances so that neither of you feels pushed into a corner.
No matter the type of money issue, it is extremely important for each party to express:
- What is your skill set?
- Are you or your partner financially conscious? Do you or your partner have different relationships with money and therefore a different understanding of money?
- How would you or your partner like your finances to look?
- What are your financial goals?
- Are you going to consolidate these goals together or keep them separate?
- Which financial conversations do you or your partner want to be able to have?
- Perhaps you or your partner currently feel unable to talk about money issues and it would be better to talk through this first.
These questions are important especially if you or your partner do not feel satisfied with your current financial role or one party seems to have more financial power.
Try to set aside a “money day” once a month in which you can discuss finances and how you both want your finances to look in the relationship. Maybe you and your partner are trying to save money in a joint account so you may consider only buying gifts for each other under a certain amount or budgeting more in your day to day life.
Taking back control of your finances as a women
Couples of any kind can have these conversations of course, but women have had a long and arduous relationship with money. Whether you are in your 20s and navigating financial independence for the first time, or in your 40s and taking more control of your finances, considering a female financial advisor to help you have these conversations is essential!
Money does not have to be a taboo subject for women, it should be spoken about and thought about seriously by women of all ages no matter what stage they are in their life or relationship. Your financial goals should not have to suffer because you are in a relationship, in fact, when done right talking about money can boost both you and your partners’ wealth especially if you are making sure that you are on the same page throughout.
It’s never too late to get in touch with a female financial advisor to help you achieve your financial goals and become more confident in talking to your partner about money issues.