Talking to your partner about money as a woman

As a  female entrepreneur or a woman who wants to get better with money, it can be difficult navigating conversations about money – or having the conversation at all – particularly when it comes to talking to your partner. So much so that 70% of arguments in relationships centre around money.It is so important to have this tricky conversation because as we know, communication is key to sorting out any relationship issue, especially in regard to money. Talking to your partner about money will take more than a few quick chats but by doing this you will benefit from peace of mind and you are also likely to grow closer as a result.

Common issues with money you could be having with your partner

You are not alone in finding it difficult to talk about money with your partner as a woman; there are a few common issues that cause relationships problems centred around finances. Here are a few examples:

There is also the overwhelming statistic that 1 in 3 women in relationships is financially dependent on their partners – so your issue could simply be trying to break out of that statistic, let us help you here!

Dealing with unequal salaries – why it might be a problem

Should it matter what you and your partner earn? The answer is yes and no, the salary difference should not make you feel any less or any more for your partner but it is imperative that you have these conversations as soon as possible. As a woman, financial freedom and independence are very important, and as time goes on, we are saying no to men being the default providers.

“I truly believe that women should be financially independent of their men. And let’s face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value.”

When there is a financial disparity in relationships, it can manifest itself into different issues that you may not have initially expected. For example, perhaps one person earns more and therefore feels they should have more of a say about what is done with shared funds; sometimes, it can be used as a method of control, putting the other person into a vulnerable situation. This is absolutely not okay and if this is the case, find more advice on the subject here.

Perhaps the financial disparity comes unexpectedly in the form of a large inheritance or sudden promotion. Maybe both of you may have been working at the start of your relationship, but family planning and illness may have changed the structure and finances that you are used to. No matter the context, it is better to talk about these money issues with your partner as openly as possible.

Talking to your partner to find solutions to dealing with unequal salaries

So you have identified (one of) the possible problem(s) where do you go from here?

The first thing to do is think about how you and your partner can make this conversation about money issues a level playing field. It all starts with both parties coming into a shared space as open to each other’s views as you can be. Try to take the romance out of the equation for now, instead of a couple having an argument you are a team figuring out a strategy, possibly treating the conversation like a business meeting so that you both remain focused on your financial goals. The conversation should be about letting both parties have creative control over their finances so that neither of you feels pushed into a corner.

No matter the type of money issue, it is extremely important for each party to express:

These questions are important especially if you or your partner do not feel satisfied with your current financial role or one party seems to have more financial power.

Try to set aside a “money day” once a month in which you can discuss finances and how you both want your finances to look in the relationship. Maybe you and your partner are trying to save money in a joint account so you may consider only buying gifts for each other under a certain amount or budgeting more in your day to day life.

Taking back control of your finances as a women

Couples of any kind can have these conversations of course, but women have had a long and arduous relationship with money. Whether you are in your 20s and navigating financial independence for the first time, or in your 40s and taking more control of your finances, considering a female financial adviser to help you have these conversations is essential!

“Being financially literate is a powerful thing, especially for women”

Money does not have to be a taboo subject for women, it should be spoken about and thought about seriously by women of all ages no matter what stage they are in their life or relationship. Your financial goals should not have to suffer because you are in a relationship, in fact, when done right talking about money can boost both you and your partners’ wealth especially if you are making sure that you are on the same page throughout.

It’s never too late to get in touch with a female financial adviser to help you achieve your financial goals and become more confident in talking to your partner about money issues.

Reach out to our all-female team here!

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